Page 102 - The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

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INTO ACTION 81
wouldn’t care to have advertised. We doubt if, in this
respect, alcoholics are fundamentally much worse than
other people. But drinking does complicate sex rela­
tions in the home. After a few years with an alcoholic,
a wife gets worn out, resentful and uncommunicative.
How could she be anything else? The husband begins
to feel lonely, sorry for himself. He commences to
look around in the night clubs, or their equivalent, for
something besides liquor. Perhaps he is having a
secret and exciting affair with “the girl who under­
stands.’’ In fairness we must say that she may under­
stand, but what are we going to do about a thing like
that? A man so involved often feels very remorseful
at times, especially if he is married to a loyal and
courageous girl who has literally gone through hell for
him.
Whatever the situation, we usually have to do some­
thing about it. If we are sure our wife does not know,
should we tell her? Not always, we think. If she
knows in a general way that we have been wild,
should we tell her in detail? Undoubtedly we should
admit our fault. She may insist on knowing all the
particulars. She will want to know who the woman is
and where she is. We feel we ought to say to her that
we have no right to involve another person. We are
sorry for what we have done and, God willing, it shall
not be repeated. More than that we cannot do; we
have no right to go further. Though there may be
justifiable exceptions, and though we wish to lay down
no rule of any sort, we have often found this the best
course to take.
Our design for living is not a one-way street. It is
as good for the wife as for the husband. If we can