Page 140 - The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

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TO WIVES 119
be the first to say it was your devotion and care which
brought him to the point where he could have a spir­
itual experience. Without you he would have gone to
pieces long ago. When resentful thoughts come, try to
pause and count your blessings. After all, your family
is reunited, alcohol is no longer a problem and you
and your husband are working together toward an un-
dreamed-of future.
Still another difficulty is that you may become
jealous of the attention he bestows on other people,
especially alcoholics. You have been starving for his
companionship, yet he spends long hours helping other
men and their families. You feel he should now be
yours. The fact is that he should work with other peo­
ple to maintain his own sobriety. Sometimes he will
be so interested that he becomes really neglectful.
Your house is filled with strangers. You may not like
some of them. He gets stirred up about their troubles,
but not at all about yours. It will do little good if you
point that out and urge more attention for yourself.
We find it a real mistake to dampen his enthusiasm for
alcoholic work. You should join in his efforts as much
as you possibly can. We suggest that you direct some
of your thought to the wives of his new alcoholic
friends. They need the counsel and love of a woman
who has gone through what you have.
It is probably true that you and your husband have
been living too much alone, for drinking many times
isolates the wife of an alcoholic. Therefore, you proba­
bly need fresh interests and a great cause to live for
as much as your husband. If you cooperate, rather
than complain, you will find that his excess enthusiasm
will tone down. Both of you will awaken to a new