Page 141 - The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

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120 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
sense of responsibility for others. You, as well as your
husband, ought to think of what you can put into life
instead of how much you can take out. Inevitably
your lives will be fuller for doing so. You will lose the
old life to find one much better.
Perhaps your husband will make a fair start on the
new basis, but just as things are going beautifully he
dismays you by coming home drunk. If you are satis­
fied he really wants to get over drinking, you need not
be alarmed. Though it is infinitely better that he have
no relapse at all, as has been true with many of our
men, it is by no means a bad thing in some cases. Your
husband will see at once that he must redouble his
spiritual activities if he expects to survive. You need
not remind him of his spiritual deficiency—he will
know of it. Cheer him up and ask him how you can
be still more helpful.
The slightest sign of fear or intolerance may lessen
your husband’s chance of recovery. In a weak mo­
ment he may take your dislike of his high-stepping
friends as one of those insanely trivial excuses to drink.
We never, never try to arrange a man’s life so as to
shield him from temptation. The slightest disposition
on your part to guide his appointments or his affairs so
he will not be tempted will be noticed. Make him feel
absolutely free to come and go as he likes. This is
important. If he gets drunk, don’t blame yourself.
God has either removed your husband’s liquor prob­
lem or He has not. If not, it had better be found out
right away. Then you and your husband can get right
down to fundamentals. If a repetition is to be pre­
vented, place the problem, along with everything else,
in God’s hands.