Page 172 - The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

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Chapter 11

A VISION FOR YOU

or most normal folks, drinking means convivi­
Fality, companionship and colorful imagination.
It means release from care, boredom and worry. It is
joyous intimacy with friends and a feeling that life is
good. But not so with us in those last days of heavy
drinking. The old pleasures were gone. They were
but memories. Never could we recapture the great
moments of the past. There was an insistent yearning
to enjoy life as we once did and a heartbreaking obses­
sion that some new miracle of control would enable us
to do it. There was always one more attempt—and
one more failure.
The less people tolerated us, the more we withdrew
from society, from life itself. As we became subjects
of King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm,
the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down. It
thickened, ever becoming blacker. Some of us sought
out sordid places, hoping to find understanding com­
panionship and approval. Momentarily we did—then
would come oblivion and the awful awakening to face
the hideous Four Horsemen—Terror, Bewilderment,
Frustration, Despair. Unhappy drinkers who read this
page will understand!
Now and then a serious drinker, being dry at the
moment says, “I don’t miss it at all. Feel better. Work
better. Having a better time.” As ex-problem drink­
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