Page 261 - The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

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THE MAN WHO MASTERED FEAR

He spent eighteen years in running away, and then
found he didn’t have to run. So he started A.A. in
Detroit.

or eighteen years, from the time I was
F twenty-one, fear governed my life. By the time
I was thirty, I had found that alcohol dissolved fear—
for a little while. In the end I had two problems
instead of one: fear and alcohol.
I came from a good family. I believe the sociolo­
gists would call it upper middle class. By the time
I was twenty-one, I had had six years of life in foreign
countries, spoke three languages fluently, and had at­
tended college for two years. A low ebb in the family
fortunes necessitated my going to work when I was
twenty. I entered the business world with every con­
fidence that success lay ahead of me. I had been
brought up to believe this, and I had shown during
my teens considerable enterprise and imagination
about earning money. To the best of my recollection,
I was completely free from any abnormal fears. Vaca­
tions from school and from work spelled “travel” to
me—and I traveled with gusto. During my first year
out of college, I had endless dates and went to count­
less dances, balls, and dinner parties.
Suddenly all this changed. I underwent a shattering
nervous breakdown. Three months in bed. Three
more months of being up and around the house for
brief periods and in bed the rest of the time. Visits

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