Page 95 - The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 74

74 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
expect to live long or happily in this world. Rightly
and naturally, we think well before we choose the per­
son or persons with whom to take this intimate and
confidential step. Those of us belonging to a religious
denomination which requires confession must, and of
course, will want to go to the properly appointed au­
thority whose duty it is to receive it. Though we have
no religious connection, we may still do well to talk
with someone ordained by an established religion. We
often find such a person quick to see and understand
our problem. Of course, we sometimes encounter peo­
ple who do not understand alcoholics.
If we cannot or would rather not do this, we search
our acquaintance for a close-mouthed, understanding
friend. Perhaps our doctor or psychologist will be the
person. It may be one of our own family, but we can­
not disclose anything to our wives or our parents which
will hurt them and make them unhappy. We have
no right to save our own skin at another person’s ex­
pense. Such parts of our story we tell to someone who
will understand, yet be unaffected. The rule is we
must be hard on ourself, but always considerate of
others.
Notwithstanding the great necessity for discussing
ourselves with someone, it may be one is so situated
that there is no suitable person available. If that is so,
this step may be postponed, only, however, if we hold
ourselves in complete readiness to go through with it
at the first opportunity. We say this because we are
very anxious that we talk to the right person. It is im­
portant that he be able to keep a confidence; that he
fully understand and approve what we are driving at;