Page 111 - The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

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90 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
When you discover a prospect for Alcoholics Anony­
mous, find out all you can about him. If he does not
want to stop drinking, don’t waste time trying to per­
suade him. You may spoil a later opportunity. This
advice is given for his family also. They should be
patient, realizing they are dealing with a sick person.
If there is any indication that he wants to stop, have
a good talk with the person most interested in him—
usually his wife. Get an idea of his behavior, his prob­
lems, his background, the seriousness of his condition,
and his religious leanings. You need this information
to put yourself in his place, to see how you would like
him to approach you if the tables were turned.
Sometimes it is wise to wait till he goes on a binge.
The family may object to this, but unless he is in a
dangerous physical condition, it is better to risk it.
Don’t deal with him when he is very drunk, unless he
is ugly and the family needs your help. Wait for the
end of the spree, or at least for a lucid interval. Then
let his family or a friend ask him if he wants to quit
for good and if he would go to any extreme to do so.
If he says yes, then his attention should be drawn to
you as a person who has recovered. You should be
described to him as one of a fellowship who, as part
of their own recovery, try to help others and who will
be glad to talk to him if he cares to see you.
If he does not want to see you, never force yourself
upon him. Neither should the family hysterically
plead with him to do anything, nor should they tell
him much about you. They should wait for the end
of his next drinking bout. You might place this book
where he can see it in the interval. Here no specific
rule can be given. The family must decide these