Page 112 - The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

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WORKING WITH OTHERS 91
things. But urge them not to be over-anxious, for that
might spoil matters.
Usually the family should not try to tell your story.
When possible, avoid meeting a man through his
family. Approach through a doctor or an institution
is a better bet. If your man needs hospitalization, he
should have it, but not forcibly unless he is violent.
Let the doctor, if he will, tell him he has something
in the way of a solution.
When your man is better, the doctor might suggest
a visit from you. Though you have talked with the
family, leave them out of the first discussion. Under
these conditions your prospect will see he is under no
pressure. He will feel he can deal with you without
being nagged by his family. Call on him while he is
still jittery. He may be more receptive when de­
pressed.
See your man alone, if possible. At first engage in
general conversation. After a while, turn the talk to
some phase of drinking. Tell him enough about your
drinking habits, symptoms, and experiences to encour­
age him to speak of himself. If he wishes to talk, let
him do so. You will thus get a better idea of how you
ought to proceed. If he is not communicative, give
him a sketch of your drinking career up to the time
you quit. But say nothing, for the moment, of how
that was accomplished. If he is in a serious mood
dwell on the troubles liquor has caused you, being
careful not to moralize or lecture. If his mood is light,
tell him humorous stories of your escapades. Get him
to tell some of his.
When he sees you know all about the drinking
game, commence to describe yourself as an alcoholic.