Page 163 - The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 142

142 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
drink. A firm attitude at this point has helped many
of us.
Next he can be assured that you do not intend to
lecture, moralize, or condemn; that if this was done
formerly, it was because of misunderstanding. If pos­
sible express a lack of hard feeling toward him. At
this point, it might be well to explain alcoholism, the
illness. Say that you believe he is a gravely ill per­
son, with this qualification—being perhaps fatally ill,
does he want to get well? You ask, because many
alcoholics, being warped and drugged, do not want to
quit. But does he? Will he take every necessary step,
submit to anything to get well, to stop drinking for­
ever?
If he says yes, does he really mean it, or down inside
does he think he is fooling you, and that after rest and
treatment he will be able to get away with a few drinks
now and then? We believe a man should be thor­
oughly probed on these points. Be satisfied he is not
deceiving himself or you.
Whether you mention this book is a matter for your
discretion. If he temporizes and still thinks he can
ever drink again, even beer, he might as well be dis­
charged after the next bender which, if an alcoholic,
he is almost certain to have. He should understand
that emphatically. Either you are dealing with a man
who can and will get well or you are not. If not, why
waste time with him? This may seem severe, but it is
usually the best course.
After satisfying yourself that your man wants to
recover and that he will go to any extreme to do so,
you may suggest a definite course of action. For most
alcoholics who are drinking, or who are just getting