Page 276 - The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

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HE SOLD HIMSELF SHORT 261
I wanted it and would do anything to get it. I was
completely licked by alcohol.
I can still remember very distinctly getting into
Akron at eleven p.m. and routing this same Howard
out of bed to do something about me. He spent two
hours with me that night telling me his story. He said
he had finally learned that drinking was a fatal illness
made up of an allergy plus an obsession, and once
the drinking had passed from habit to obsession, we
were completely hopeless and could look forward
only to spending the balance of our lives in mental
institutions—or to death.
He laid great stress on the progression of his atti­
tude toward life and people, and most of his attitudes
had been very similar to mine. I thought at times that
he was telling my story! I had thought that I was com­
pletely different from other people, that I was begin­
ning to become a little balmy, even to the point of
withdrawing more and more from society and wanting
to be alone with my bottle.
Here was a man with essentially the same outlook
on life, except that he had done something about it.
He was happy, getting a kick out of life and people,
and beginning to get his medical practice back again.
As I look back on that first evening, I realize that I
began to hope, then, for the first time; and I felt that
if he could regain these things, perhaps it would be
possible for me too.
The next afternoon and evening, two other men
visited me, and each told me his story and the things
that they were doing to try to recover from this tragic
illness. They had that certain something that seemed
to glow, a peace, a serenity combined with happiness.