Page 156 - The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

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THE FAMILY AFTERWARD 135
Whether the family goes on a spiritual basis or not,
the alcoholic member has to if he would recover. The
others must be convinced of his new status beyond the
shadow of a doubt. Seeing is believing to most fam­
ilies who have lived with a drinker.
Here is a case in point: One of our friends is a heavy
smoker and coffee drinker. There was no doubt he
over-indulged. Seeing this, and meaning to be help­
ful, his wife commenced to admonish him about it. He
admitted he was overdoing these things, but frankly
said that he was not ready to stop. His wife is one of
those persons who really feels there is something
rather sinful about these commodities, so she nagged,
and her intolerance finally threw him into a fit of anger.
He got drunk.
Of course our friend was wrong—dead wrong. He
had to painfully admit that and mend his spiritual
fences. Though he is now a most effective member of
Alcoholics Anonymous, he still smokes and drinks
coffee, but neither his wife nor anyone else stands in
judgment. She sees she was wrong to make a burning
issue out of such a matter when his more serious ail­
ments were being rapidly cured.
We have three little mottoes which are apropos.
Here they are:

First Things First
Live and Let Live
Easy Does It.