Page 268 - The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

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THE MAN WHO MASTERED FEAR 253
with alcoholic cases—doctors, ministers, lawyers, and
the personnel men in industry. I also talked A.A. to
every friend who would listen, at lunch, at dinner, on
street corners. A doctor tipped me off to my first pros­
pect. I landed him and shipped him by train to Akron,
with a pint of whiskey in his pocket to keep him from
wanting to get off the train in Toledo! Nothing has
ever to this day equaled the thrill of that first case.
Those three weeks left me completely exhausted,
and I had to return to Akron for three more months of
rest. While there, two or three more “cash customers”
(as Dr. Bob used to call them—probably because they
had so little cash) were shipped in to us from Detroit.
When I finally returned to Detroit to find work and
to learn to stand on my own feet, the ball was already
rolling, however slowly. But it took six more months
of work and disappointments before a group of three
men got together in my rooming-house bedroom for
their first A.A. meeting.
It sounds simple, but there were obstacles and
doubts to overcome. I well remember a session I had
with myself soon after I returned. It ran something
like this: If I go around shouting from the rooftops
about my alcoholism, it might very possibly prevent
me from getting a good job. But supposing that just
one man died because I had, for selfish reasons, kept
my mouth shut? No. I was supposed to be doing
God’s will, not mine. His road lay clear before me, and
I’d better quit rationalizing myself into any detours.
I could not expect to keep what I had gained unless I
gave it away.
The Depression was still on, and jobs were scarce.
My health was still uncertain. So I created a job for