Page 121 - The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

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100 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
dent upon people. It is dependent upon his relation­
ship with God. We have seen men get well whose
families have not returned at all. We have seen others
slip when the family came back too soon.
Both you and the new man must walk day by day in
the path of spiritual progress. If you persist, remark­
able things will happen. When we look back, we
realize that the things which came to us when we put
ourselves in God’s hands were better than anything
we could have planned. Follow the dictates of a
Higher Power and you will presently live in a new
and wonderful world, no matter what your present
circumstances!
When working with a man and his family, you
should take care not to participate in their quarrels.
You may spoil your chance of being helpful if you do.
But urge upon a man’s family that he has been a very
sick person and should be treated accordingly. You
should warn against arousing resentment or jealousy.
You should point out that his defects of character are
not going to disappear over night. Show them that
he has entered upon a period of growth. Ask them to
remember, when they are impatient, the blessed fact
of his sobriety.
If you have been successful in solving your own
domestic problems, tell the newcomer’s family how
that was accomplished. In this way you can set them
on the right track without becoming critical of them.
The story of how you and your wife settled your
difficulties is worth any amount of criticism.
Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts
of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. People
have said we must not go where liquor is served; we