Page 126 - The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

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TO WIVES 105
driven to maudlin sympathy, to bitter resentment.
Some of us veered from extreme to extreme, ever
hoping that one day our loved ones would be them­
selves once more.
Our loyalty and the desire that our husbands hold
up their heads and be like other men have begotten
all sorts of predicaments. We have been unselfish and
self-sacrificing. We have told innumerable lies to
protect our pride and our husbands’ reputations. We
have prayed, we have begged, we have been patient.
We have struck out viciously. We have run away. We
have been hysterical. We have been terror stricken.
We have sought sympathy. We have had retaliatory
love affairs with other men.
Our homes have been battle-grounds many an
evening. In the morning we have kissed and made up.
Our friends have counseled chucking the men and we
have done so with finality, only to be back in a little
while hoping, always hoping. Our men have sworn
great solemn oaths that they were through drinking
forever. We have believed them when no one else
could or would. Then, in days, weeks, or months, a
fresh outburst.
We seldom had friends at our homes, never know­
ing how or when the men of the house would appear.
We could make few social engagements. We came to
live almost alone. When we were invited out, our
husbands sneaked so many drinks that they spoiled
the occasion. If, on the other hand, they took nothing,
their self-pity made them killjoys.
There was never financial security. Positions were
always in jeopardy or gone. An armored car could