Page 129 - The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

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108 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
pointed out that they agreed, and then got drunk
again immediately?
These are some of the questions which race through
the mind of every woman who has an alcoholic hus­
band. We hope this book has answered some of them.
Perhaps your husband has been living in that strange
world of alcoholism where everything is distorted and
exaggerated. You can see that he really does love
you with his better self. Of course, there is such a
thing as incompatibility, but in nearly every instance
the alcoholic only seems to be unloving and incon­
siderate; it is usually because he is warped and sick­
ened that he says and does these appalling things.
Today most of our men are better husbands and
fathers than ever before.
Try not to condemn your alcoholic husband no
matter what he says or does. He is just another very
sick, unreasonable person. Treat him, when you can,
as though he had pneumonia. When he angers you,
remember that he is very ill.
There is an important exception to the foregoing.
We realize some men are thoroughly bad-intentioned,
that no amount of patience will make any difference.
An alcoholic of this temperament may be quick to use
this chapter as a club over your head. Don’t let him
get away with it. If you are positive he is one of this
type you may feel you had better leave. Is it right to
let him ruin your life and the lives of your children?
Especially when he has before him a way to stop his
drinking and abuse if he really wants to pay the price.
The problem with which you struggle usually falls
within one of four categories:
One: Your husband may be only a heavy drinker.