Page 134 - The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

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TO WIVES 113
alcoholism. Then perhaps he will be interested enough
to continue.
If he is enthusiastic your cooperation will mean a
great deal. If he is lukewarm or thinks he is not an
alcoholic, we suggest you leave him alone. Avoid urg­
ing him to follow our program. The seed has been
planted in his mind. He knows that thousands of
men, much like himself, have recovered. But don’t re­
mind him of this after he has been drinking, for he
may be angry. Sooner or later, you are likely to find
him reading the book once more. Wait until repeated
stumbling convinces him he must act, for the more
you hurry him the longer his recovery may be delayed.
If you have a number three husband, you may be in
luck. Being certain he wants to stop, you can go to
him with this volume as joyfully as though you had
struck oil. He may not share your enthusiasm, but he
is practically sure to read the book and he may go for
the program at once. If he does not, you will probably
not have long to wait. Again, you should not crowd
him. Let him decide for himself. Cheerfully see him
through more sprees. Talk about his condition or this
book only when he raises the issue. In some cases it
may be better to let someone outside the family pre­
sent the book. They can urge action without arousing
hostility. If your husband is otherwise a normal in­
dividual, your chances are good at this stage.
You would suppose that men in the fourth classifi­
cation would be quite hopeless, but that is not so.
Many of Alcoholics Anonymous were like that. Every­
body had given them up. Defeat seemed certain. Yet
often such men had spectacular and powerful recov­
eries.