Page 130 - The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

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TO WIVES 109
His drinking may be constant or it may be heavy only
on certain occasions. Perhaps he spends too much
money for liquor. It may be slowing him up mentally
and physically, but he does not see it. Sometimes he
is a source of embarrassment to you and his friends.
He is positive he can handle his liquor, that it does
him no harm, that drinking is necessary in his business.
He would probably be insulted if he were called an
alcoholic. This world is full of people like him. Some
will moderate or stop altogether, and some will not.
Of those who keep on, a good number will become
true alcoholics after a while.
Two: Your husband is showing lack of control, for
he is unable to stay on the water wagon even when he
wants to. He often gets entirely out of hand when
drinking. He admits this is true, but is positive that he
will do better. He has begun to try, with or without
your cooperation, various means of moderating or
staying dry. Maybe he is beginning to lose his friends.
His business may suffer somewhat. He is worried at
times, and is becoming aware that he cannot drink
like other people. He sometimes drinks in the morn­
ing and through the day also, to hold his nervousness
in check. He is remorseful after serious drinking
bouts and tells you he wants to stop. But when he
gets over the spree, he begins to think once more how
he can drink moderately next time. We think this
person is in danger. These are the earmarks of a real
alcoholic. Perhaps he can still tend to business fairly
well. He has by no means ruined everything. As we
say among ourselves, “He wants to want to stop.”
Three: This husband has gone much further than
husband number two. Though once like number two