Page 127 - The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

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106 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
not have brought the pay envelopes home. The
checking account melted like snow in June.
Sometimes there were other women. How heart­
breaking was this discovery; how cruel to be told they
understood our men as we did not!
The bill collectors, the sheriffs, the angry taxi
drivers, the policemen, the bums, the pals, and even
the ladies they sometimes brought home—our hus­
bands thought we were so inhospitable. “Joykiller,
nag, wet blanket”—that’s what they said. Next day
they would be themselves again and we would forgive
and try to forget.
We have tried to hold the love of our children for
their father. We have told small tots that father was
sick, which was much nearer the truth than we
realized. They struck the children, kicked out door
panels, smashed treasured crockery, and ripped the
keys out of pianos. In the midst of such pandemonium
they may have rushed out threatening to live with the
other woman forever. In desperation, we have even
got tight ourselves—the drunk to end all drunks. The
unexpected result was that our husbands seemed to
like it.
Perhaps at this point we got a divorce and took the
children home to father and mother. Then we were
severely criticized by our husband’s parents for deser­
tion. Usually we did not leave. We stayed on and on.
We finally sought employment ourselves as destitution
faced us and our families.
We began to ask medical advice as the sprees got
closer together. The alarming physical and mental
symptoms, the deepening pall of remorse, depression
and inferiority that settled down on our loved ones—