Page 136 - The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

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TO WIVES 115
ing, even with your own parents. You do not know
what to tell the children. When your husband is bad,
you become a trembling recluse, wishing the tele­
phone had never been invented.
We find that most of this embarrassment is unnec­
essary. While you need not discuss your husband at
length, you can quietly let your friends know the na­
ture of his illness. But you must be on guard not to
embarrass or harm your husband.
When you have carefully explained to such people
that he is a sick person, you will have created a new
atmosphere. Barriers which have sprung up between
you and your friends will disappear with the growth
of sympathetic understanding. You will no longer be
self-conscious or feel that you must apologize as
though your husband were a weak character. He may
be anything but that. Your new courage, good nature
and lack of self-consciousness will do wonders for you
socially.
The same principle applies in dealing with the chil­
dren. Unless they actually need protection from their
father, it is best not to take sides in any argument he
has with them while drinking. Use your energies to
promote a better understanding all around. Then that
terrible tension which grips the home of every prob­
lem drinker will be lessened.
Frequently, you have felt obliged to tell your hus-
band’s employer and his friends that he was sick, when
as a matter of fact he was tight. Avoid answering these
inquiries as much as you can. Whenever possible, let
your husband explain. Your desire to protect him
should not cause you to lie to people when they have
a right to know where he is and what he is doing. Dis­